Padd Solutions

My profession involves being social in somewhat of the Hollywood scene. I'm used to not going out at all so it's really weird. I have to seem fun and I'm used to just standing around unless I'm drunk. So, I drink - and there's these kids dancing like Boy George sometimes so I'm trying really hard not to laugh. I can hardly hear anything anybody says so I nod at people give them a smile or a casual, "YEA! cool."

Just in general though, I'm 21 and I already feel like I'm too old for the club. I try to make it every blue moon just to get a Henn and Coke. White liquor if I don't want to be too relaxed. I refuse to pay to get in a club though, because YOU have to make it fun. I'm not someone who suggests going to the club - I'm the person who has a bottle of Jack in her purse prior.

And I never feel shy in a club. It's a waste of time and there's usually 5 ridiculous looking people on average. Just random people who are dancing to God knows what in their head. Laugh at them, even if you're one of them - it's great.

Oh, Platinum Patron Tequila will have you LITERALLY dancing in the street too.

Are you a thirsty dude?

Are you a little too willing? When you say you'd drink a chick's bathwater... are you serious?

I've run into thirsty men in a variety of flavors. My favorites are usually the ones on public transportation. They're always crazy, talkative and scary looking. They are the max thirsty, and they don't even care. I'm quite certain the 75% of people on the bus ain't got shit to lose. I'm usually the only one watching for roaches so I know this to be true.

Now, when/if you have get on the bus you must avoid eye contact. This is my personal mission, but sometimes dudes just put themselves in your view. Or, they continue to refer to you, say something that's obviously directed at you.

Last week I got direct finger pointing and was bestowed with a title. "See this girl right here, she da baddest bitch on the bus." I never felt so ugg.

Afterward, he went on to talk about my hair, the islands (I'm from Jamaica, says other people) and how I'm the mother of the world. He also said he was made from God by way of Pluto and Saturn.

It's fair to say I've experienced my fair amount of bus flirting. It's made me just stay home. I've also been hit on by everyone possible - the bus driver, the crippled dude, the homeless dude, the African dude, the lost dude, the dude that drives by while you're at the bus stop and waits for the bus with/next to you, the one that just stops for a long time while you walk the opposite direction, the broke musician, the broke artist, the butch lesbian chick annnd more.

The broke musician first enlightened me with a talk about the struggle. Oh, how I enjoy that. Not really. He kept with the "black women don't talk to black men anymore" tip. I wanted to ignore him but he asked directions first which was his segue to talk about instruments..and that awkwardly led to struggle talk. I know what comes to struggle talk, at least with me. Anytime some random dude wants to talk black relations.. he trying to flirt. I don't care what anyone else says.. because then this guy asked to borrow a pen. He wrote me a poem, which started out ok until it got to the part where I'm having his kids. He propositioned me. Imagine reading this in front of the suddenly creepy dude. It was so awkward and he missed his stop tryna talk to me too. I think I said something to the effect of "...uh thanks? I have a boyfriend."

I always say this although I never do. He was just so gross...and like 40 something. I prayed to get to my bus stop sooner. And people around you just treat the shit like daytime television. Horrible.

- Gin