I was watching this hilarious intro to HBO's Eastbound & Down which had one of the most awkward sex scenes ever (next to Robert DeNiro & Bridgette Fonda in Jackie Brown), and it reminded me of a weird night I had in the past.
I went on a date with a REALLY nice woman who by all accounts seemed like a cool person. She was easy going, well spoken, had more money than I did, and as I found out... she was totally down to fuck. The problem was I just wasn't into her very much, I'm not sure what exactly turned me off.... but I just wasn't feeling her like that. I was going through a sexual dry spell at the time, so even though I wasn't feeling her, I practically forced myself to go back to her apartment after the date for some late night bedroom gymnastics. The little "manly man" voice in the back of my head kept saying STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH, AND JUST GO THERE AND FUCK HER.
We watched some Dane Cook movie called "Good Luck Chuck" for a good 15 minutes before we started making out, I felt her up and fingered her pussy a little until she started giving me head on the couch. We then moved to the bedroom to seal the deal, got a condom.... and then it happened.....
Read More..
I wasn't hard anymore.
It's a REALLY awkward thing if you lose your hardon after you've already put the condom on, because then you have to take it off and get head again, or you kinda have to make out some more until you get hard again. We were in the pitch black dark of her room, so she's asking me "what are you waiting for, come on baby" and all that sweet talk.... and I didn't quite know how to say "uhhh my dick is soft". In the back of my head I'm kicking myself for not just going home earlier, because I obviously didn't want to fuck her that bad.
I managed to play it off and kiss her thighs while im trying to get myself hard, I eventually managed to get it halfway there, and then I pushed it inside her..... We had missionary sex for about 5 minutes until I realized my dick was going to get soft again... and I had to break the news
"uhh I have to take a break"
I know she was probably thinking "what the fuck".....
So then we kinda kissed and I fell asleep. She woke me up like 2hrs later trying to fuck again, but I ended up convincing her to give me head until I came then we went back to sleep.
She woke me up the next morning hella early like "its time to go, I have to go to work". USUALLY, that means you can leisurely get up at your own pace, go take a morning pee, maybe get some breakfast/snacks out the fridge and leave in 45 mins or so.
Nah son...
This bitch wanted me out of her house immediately.... like get up, put on your clothes, and go out of the door. I didn't even get a chance to take a morning piss, I went from sleeping to out in the cold in like 2 minutes flat. I ended up pissing in someones back yard and catching BART home with hella crust in my eyes from the night's sleep. So I learned a valuable lesson that night, if you aren't feeling up to the task it's best just to call it a night. Otherwise there's going to be a female running around town telling everyone you can't fuck.
Needless to say, thats the last time I saw her.... we have texted a few times since then. I don't know if reflects bad on her, or good on me that I'm pretty sure she'd fuck me again if I wanted.
-Dell
(0) Comments
Post a Comment